How to shape your life

by “turning the ship”?

Ben Ferrum
2 min readJan 20, 2021


Your life is in motion like a ship on the water. The bigger turn you make on the wheel, the bigger resistance you will face.

The path to big changes over time is frequent small changes amplified with compound interest.

This is true for physics, habits and relationships as well.

The ship-like nature of the relationship comes from a not widely known field network science.

You can imagine it like you are standing in a field with your friends and relatives and you are one end of a rubber band and they are holding the other end.
The bigger and more impulsive you try to turn the bigger resistance you will feel from all of your relationships, just like if you turn a ship!

If you want to move closer to some of them, you immediately move further from the others which also can generate tension.
So every change will create tension and friction if you turn slowly it will be less of a burden to withstand the tension. (Obviously, you can cut a relationship, however, you don't want to do this all of the time.)

And on the bigger picture, if you change, it will change others and cause a ripple effect in other’s personal network.

Anyway, this is why you should choose wisely to 5 people you spent the most time with and also this is why fat/smoking/stealing/addicted people have friends with the same problem. They have those habits because they did not escape that group, not the other way around, that is just a reason to enter.